The holiday season is full of bright lights, desserts, decorations, presents, and togetherness. This is why spending Christmas alone can be hard of whether you are accustomed to being surrounded by other people throughout the holidays, or if you are making the conscious choice to be alone. The author of HOW TO BE ALONE, Lane Moore, has some great tips on how to be happy, even if you are spending the holidays alone this year, regardless of what your reasons are.
#1 You Aren’t Alone Because You’re Not Good Enough
The first and most important thing to remember is that you aren’t spending the holidays alone because you deserve to be alone. Every person deserves to have a great family who loves them and makes them feel safe, and we all deserve to be surrounded by those people. While you may know that with your conscious mind, you might however subconsciously start believing that you are alone because you don’t deserve to be surrounded by people who love you. Especially during the holiday season when we are being bombarded with images of happy, seemingly perfect families. Remember, you deserve love and normalcy just as much as anyone else does.
If you are choosing to spend Christmas away from your friends and family because you just need some space for yourself right now, that’s okay too. You aren’t under any obligation to be around your family just because they are there, even if you have the healthiest, most amazing relationships with them.
#2 You’re Not a Bad Person if You Don’t Like the Holidays
The world is doing a serious disservice to people by neglecting to acknowledge the people who have a hard time coping during the holidays. And it’s not fair. Hating this time of year is typically a coping mechanism that we use to protect ourselves from experiencing more pain. If you associate the holidays with a particular event that was traumatizing, or even a series of traumatizing events, you cannot possibly be expecting to deck the halls and trim the tree with a smile on your face. It doesn’t make you a joyless, cold monster. It makes you human. It’s called coping, and it’s normal.
Even if you don’t have a traumatizing event in your past, maybe the lights, crowds, and excitement just aren’t for you. This is okay too. There is absolutely no reason that you should make yourself uncomfortable to celebrate holidays. You are allowed to dislike the holidays for any reason you want to.
#3 Celebrate the Holidays in Your Own Way
There is no right way to celebrate the holiday season. So, if you are currently getting ready for the holidays by avoiding it all, watching movies unrelated to the holidays, and eating snacks, then that’s completely acceptable. If you are spending the holidays checking out pictures of other people’s happy Christmases and being bitter, this is also completely acceptable. However, it is not okay to ruin their holidays with snarky commentary.
Choosing to stay home alone and avoid parties doesn’t make you weak or antisocial. It is your choice how you want to survive the season. It’s not anyone else’s business. Don’t let anyone pressure you into being around them if you don’t want to be. Don’t listen if anyone tells you that your plans are “sad” or “wrong” or anything else. You understand your choices. They are helping you get through the season safely. Just do what feels right to you. That’s all that matters. (How to Listen to Your Inner Guide – Some Practical Tips.)
#4 Focus on Yourself During Your Holidays
You are spending Christmas alone because you have decided that it is the best thing for you to do. Your reasons behind this decision are yours, so why not make the holidays all about you too. You can spend the holidays pampering yourself, take a long bath. Read a book you have been struggling to find time to sit down and enjoy. Book yourself in for a massage. Indulge in preparing yourself a meal that would usually be more work than you would spend cooking for one. Maybe even take a couple of days and stay in a fancy hotel, either near or far from your home, and enjoy just being with yourself. The options for pampering yourself are endless, have some fun with it.
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